I struggle with the idea of an external god that is separate from me.
For me, there is only The One. There is only God. There is only The Universe.
It is one infinite, perfect equation. Stardust to embryo to earthquake to atom.
Somewhere in the middle of this massive equation is our planet.
And somewhere in the lifetime of this planet is our species.
And somewhere in the middle (end?) of this species’ run is my current consciousness.
I am like a water particle that helps form a rainbow.
Could I ever hope to understand the rainstorm that preceded me? Or the sunlight that refracts me? Yet, could I define myself without the rain or sun? What about the snowfall last season that melted into the lake that evaporated and became the rain?
My grandfather used to call God, among other things, “the Unbegun Beginning.”
I wish I understood that phrase more when he was alive. But I think I get it now. This infinite equation is the Unbegun Beginning. The Universe is a Mobius stip. Our human perception of time makes us see our lives through tunnel vision which leads to thinking that somehow we are separate and isolated from the rest of the equation.
It is ironic that the human trait we are so proud of: Our intellect, personality and consciousness – Is responsible for this perception of separation.
Of course, we are not really separate – but our Ego convinces us that we are alone in the world. And therefore need to struggle and plan to forge our path. We are driven to stand out , fix things, and make a difference.
But as the Buddhist story explains – it is like a wave thinking it is separate from the sea.
It would be humorous if it were not so tragic.
This separation is what leads to so much of the horror in our world. Not just in the way we allow ourselves to treat other parts of the equation (like the environment, other species, or fellow humans) but in the way we torture ourselves with thoughts.
How painful to believe that it is “Me against the world.” What a setup for stress and suffering. And yet, this is a very common belief system. How much more peaceful to understand, “Me is a part of the world.”
Of course, part of this awareness is understanding that “I” will die. And that, too, is a perfect part of the equation. The Mobius strip includes birth, death, decay, rebirth. We should feel honored to be a part of these cycles, not frustrated by our impermanence.
If you see the universe as a Mobius strip, then all moments exist forever. No matter how long we are alive, no matter when, we are a part of the equation. We are a part of the One.
It is our Ego that freaks out over the thought of death. Which makes some sense, because it is only our ego that dies. The Ego is that part of us that feels separate. The part of us that is a part of the infinite cosmic One exists now and forever. Our true self cannot die because it was never born.
The thing that was born into this body is the Ego – the awareness of separation or “self.” I would argue that this awareness is a sickness that afflicts the human species. and may even prove to be an evolutionary handicap.
Certainly it has the potential to push us to make our planet uninhabitable to humans (and many other species.)
Every animal species that survives settles into a harmony within the Equation. (or at least the tiny fraction of the equation that works itself out in Earth on the Milky Way corner of the Cosmic blackboard.)
Too voracious an appetite, the species decimates it’s food supply and in turn dies out. This is not good or bad. This is just how the equation works. It is perfect and beautiful.
It can be incredible helpful to see the universe as a perfect, zero sum equation.
I find Nature documentaries to be incredible spiritual tools in helping to deeply feel this Unbegun Beginning. As Carl Sagan or Richard Attenburrough or whatever cool-voiced narrator explains the bizarre checks and balances of the physical world, I find myself awash in Awe.
The big monkey brain feels some need to compartmentalize and explain this situation. But an explanation will not bring peace.
More important is appreciation and awe. If we can sink into a state of awe at the universe, then it becomes easy to slip into a state of gratitude.
We do not need to understand the fusion on the sun’s surface to appreciate the warmth on our skin.
“Nothing thinks greater than the creator’s thoughts” is another thing my grandpa would say often.
And this is more of how I view my relationship with God. My consciousness is not in the drivers seat of the universe. It is not my role to “understand” it all. I just need to allow myself to appreciate the gift of existence: I am a part of the cosmic equation. I am a part of the One.
I am a perfect dewdrop reflecting God color in the sky.
Amen.
-John
Feb 14, 2010

Comments
  • Jocelyne

    I am about to finish reading “a new earth”. I find it great that I just discovered your site at the same time, oh life you are so very funny! I have been trying to quiet the ego but have been finding it very challenging to stop my mind from racing, concentrating on breathing helps temporarily. I started reading about spirituality at a young age and after reading many books on the subject, I believe that we all need to create our own belief system or concept of God as we might say. I think it is different for every one and yet the same too. Thanks for sending so much love into the world. Reading about your grandfather really makes me miss all of mine and older people in general. I think i need to find a older friend, to fulfill that longing. Happy love day!! Now off to enjoy the sun!

  • Halcyon

    Isn’t life just delightfully funny! 🙂

    I agree completely. We need to take our own plate to the “Belief Buffet” and fill our belly with whatever feels right.

    🙂 

    ((HUG))

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