written for work newsletter

St Patrick’s Day is coming up!
But to be perfectly honest, I am NOT a fan of drinking-based holidays.
I’m sure there is a great story about Irish Pride and banishing the potato-famine-causing snakes…but we all know that St Paddy’s Day is for drinking.
Same is true with Cinco De Mayo, Fat Tuesday, and New Year’s Eve.

My problem is not with the holidays themselves, but the fact that the occasions bring out all the amateurs.

You wouldn’t go from being a couch potato to running a marathon overnight, would you?
And yet millions of basically sober people turn into party animals just because the calendar gives them permission.
Well, I am sorry. That is WRONG.
Just like running a marathon, serious partying requires TRAINING.

That is why I encourage everyone to maintain a steady regimen of wine, beer, and spirits, to stay in optimal party shape.

Some crazy people argue for moderation, but the key to successful drinking is PRACTICE.

You may lose your job, friends, and physique…but nobody will be able to take your “party animal” title away. So join me this morning (and every morning) for a bowl of Guinness & Lucky Charms, would you?

Comments
  • Natasha

    ~I support your encouraging attention to what I beieve is a Universal issue of the mounting risk of what I have to come to know as “Intoxicosis Underdoing” thank you for your insightful acknowledgment of this pressing issue~

    Natasha Livesly
    Concerned Citizen

  • drew olanoff

    Bravo!

  • George

    I saw a TV commercial I saw this weekend for a certain mass-market Mexican beer that replaced a wedge of lime with a tiny plastic shamrock. Pass that box of Lucky Charms this way when you’re done with it? 🙂

  • Dinah

    I believe my New Year’s Eve rant “How To Order A Drink At A Bar” will warm the cockles of your heart or the heart of your… um, whatever.

    http://www.metagrrrl.com/metagrrrl/2005/12/how_to_order_a_.html

    Really, what are they teaching in colleges these days? I ask you.

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